Burned Out by Design: The Corporate Trap That Keeps Capable Women "In Place"

Most high-performing women aren't underperforming — they're over-delivering, and the corporation has quietly learned to depend on it. In this episode, Natalie Luke sits down with Nicole Johnston — a 30-year corporate veteran of P&G, Hershey, and Kimberly-Clark, founder of innatePOWER, TEDx speaker, and author of Taboo Topics: Things Women Should Talk About, But Don't — to name the exact mechanism that keeps capable women labeled as the "pro in place" instead of "ready for more."

This conversation covers the corporate burnout that doesn't look like burnout — the kind that hides behind strong performance reviews, a packed calendar, and a reputation for getting it done. Nicole and Natalie unpack the emotional labor tax, the mental load gap, why self-promotion feels impossible (and why it's necessary anyway), the real difference between a coach, a mentor, and a sponsor, and the one calendar shift that changes everything.

If you've ever wondered why doing excellent work hasn't translated into the next role — this episode names exactly what's been missing.

What You'll Learn

• Why strong performance and being seen as "ready for more" are two completely different things inside a corporation
• The behind-the-scenes labor that keeps teams running — and why none of it gets you promoted
• The "high performer tax": how being capable leads to more being added to your plate until burnout becomes the cycle
• The real difference between a coach, a mentor, and a sponsor — and why most women have never built the third one
• How to protect your calendar like Nicole did as a corporate sales leader — "be the barbarian at the gate"
• The mental load gap: why women carry roughly 520 additional unpaid hours a year on top of full-time work
• What Nicole's new book Taboo Topics covers — including the compensation chapter most women have never been taught

Memorable Quotes

"Promotions are not based on your ability to complete tasks. Promotions are based on the perception of your leadership potential." — Nicole Johnston

"It's the emotional labor tax, and it's not something that gets you recognized as a leader — it just gets you recognized as a doer." — Nicole Johnston

"A coach is someone who talks with you. A mentor is someone who talks to you. A sponsor is someone who talks for you." — Nicole Johnston

"You have to be incredibly selfish on your calendar and decide what works for you." — Nicole Johnston

Resources Mentioned

📚 Taboo Topics: Things Women Should Talk About, But Don't — Nicole Johnston 

🔗 Nicole Johnston / innatePOWER — https://www.innate-power.com/

📊 Free Trust Tax Diagnostic — unceilingzone.com/trust_tax_diagnostic-page

📓 Free Responsibility Reset Notebook — unceilingzone.com/rrnotebook

🎙️ Connect with Nicole on LinkedIn

About UnCeiling You

UnCeiling You is a podcast for high-performing corporate women navigating leadership without burnout. Hosted by Natalie Luke, PhD, BCMAS — founder of UnCeiling You and creator of the Trust Tax framework. New episodes explore the invisible patterns that hold capable people back, and what it actually takes to redesign them.

🔗 unceilingzone.com

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Done being exhausted by the job that on paper looks like they feel good. If you've ever sat in a meeting wondering why you're the one who always ends up holding everything together, the deck nobody else built, the relationship nobody else is managing, the fallout from a decision you didn't even make. Today's episode is going to name something you've probably felt for years but never quite had words for. My guess is Nicole Johnston. Nicole spent more than three decades in senior sales and marketing leadership at companies like Procter Gamble, Hershey's, Kimberly Clark, before founding Innate Power, where she now coaches mid-career women navigating the real pressures of leadership. She's the author of Taboo Topics, things women should talk about but don't. And one of her central arguments is that confidence isn't actually the main thing holding capable women back. Today's conversation is about something we call the emotional labor tax, the invisible work that quietly shapes who gets seen as a leader and who gets seen as someone who's just reliable. We're going to talk about what that tax actually looks like day to day and why strong performance doesn't always translate into promotion. And most importantly, what to do about it. Let's get into it. Thank you so much for joining us. Most high-performing women don't underperform, they are over-delivering. Where does strong performance stop translating into leadership readiness and what are organizations actually doing instead?

SPEAKER_01 1:42

I think one of the biggest gaps that occurs for women is that you assume that your boss, your company knows what you're doing. They know what your work is, the quality of your product, everything like that. And so we do not self-promote. And so because of that, we become commonly known as a pro in place, meaning, oh my gosh, they're so good at their job, they just get it done, it's great. But we don't talk about the strategic impact, we don't talk about our outcomes, and we don't demonstrate that we are ready for more. And so because of that, there is this unintentional ceiling we put on ourselves because we don't share, hey, I'm doing this breakthrough work, this was my strategy that brought this to life, this is what I want to deliver. And then the leadership stops thinking about you for more. So that self-promotion is necessary and it goes against the fiber of so many women's beings. But if we don't do that, that's where we get stuck. And what can organizations do is they need to recognize that where are their women? Are they in leadership? Why aren't they in leadership? Where are they stalling out? What are the policies that are holding them back? Why aren't they getting promoted at the same rate as men? And asking some fairly uncomfortable questions at times that helps them identify where those gaps and where those maybe blinders are.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

What's in it for the organization to ask those questions? Especially when in this particular age that we're we find ourselves in, it is just pure raw talent.

SPEAKER_01 3:14

It's very, very easy to go where you're comfortable. And maybe it's with your bros or maybe it's something else, but you are leaving so much talent and capability behind. And fundamentally, it comes down to that person and that corporations or companies' success because you want to put the best person forward. And if you are not actively harvesting throughout your organization, the likelihood that you're leaving some of your best talent behind is high. So I want every leader to be inherently selfish because they want to do what's best for them, and that's fielding the best team.

SPEAKER_00 3:50

And it doesn't matter if you're a man or a woman, it just happens that women tend to feel like, hey, I shouldn't be talking about these things. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 4:01

And it's it's anybody who is not white cis male, whether you're a woman, you are of color, or you are on the LGBTQ spectrum or disabled. It's so easy for you to just step back instead of stepping forward. And when you step back, it just makes it easier to overlook you because when you're quiet, you're easy to overlook. And so we do need to step forward and own our results, our thinking, our power, because that's how we'll succeed.

SPEAKER_00 4:29

So, what specific behaviors do you think signal a reliable executor versus a leader with authority, or even if the output that they're producing is the same? I think it comes down to communication.

SPEAKER_01 4:43

Now, when I say this, I don't want people listening and going, oh my God, I'm never gonna stand up and say what I do. That is not what I'm saying. You can communicate in many different ways. It can be in the one-on-ones with your boss, it can be in recaps of the meeting, it can be how you engage in the meeting, it can be how you talk about it with your peers. But you need to do more than just put your head down and get the job done. You need to communicate in whatever way works best for you, your impact results and thinking. And the biggest difference is always the thinking because promotions are not based on your ability to complete tasks. Promotions are based on the perception of your leadership potential. And if you are not demonstrating in any form that you are leading work, leading thinking, leading projects, no one is going to see that potential in you.

SPEAKER_00 5:32

Let's pause on that because I think Nicole just named something most high performers have lived but never labeled. Here's the myth. Being indispensable is good for your career. And at first it is. You solved a problem. You catch the thing before it breaks. You answer the question, nobody else can answer. Everyone is grateful. Everyone says, thank God you were here. But here's what happens next. This is the part nobody tells you. The organization doesn't just thank you. It learns something about you. It learns this is where problems go to get solved. So the next ambiguous thing that comes up, it comes to you. And the next one, and the next one. Not because anyone decided that on purpose. There's no meeting where somebody says, let's wrap everything to her. It just happens quietly every single time you touch something. The very thing that made you valuable becomes the thing that is draining you. That is the trust. Success becomes a magnet for responsibility. So here's the question I want you sitting with. Where in your work right now? Are you the place where problems land? Not because it's your job, but because you're good at catching them. And we're gonna show you what to do about it. Um, can you give maybe a very uh crystal example of something that someone can say in that one-on-one that helps demonstrate that leadership potential?

SPEAKER_01 7:01

It can be something very small of, hey boss, do you remember when you gave me X project? I know you know that it's completed and we got what we needed to do, but let me tell you some of the systemic changes I made that made it more efficient, that's going to help the organization. Rather than just doing it and assuming someone will know, make sure your boss is aware. And because then when other people are starting to build on those systemic changes, you can say, that was the fruit from the tree I planted. But it helps them connect the work that you're doing. And even if it might feel really awkward when you do that, it shouldn't because you're just describing your work. And that is something that we have to get very comfortable in doing.

SPEAKER_00 7:40

I wholeheartedly agree. So what I see is a lot of execution without visible ownership that starts to look like support, but not leadership. You talk about emotional labor versus structural failure, and um you also call it an emotional labor tax. I've been calling it a trust tax, but we're kind of circling around the same thing, maybe from different angles. Do you see this as an individual pattern that women need to correct or a structural failure for organizations? Yes. It's both.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

And so here's what I mean when I say that. How many times, thinking all the way back into college, all the way through, you know, work that you're doing, how many times is it the woman who ends up creating the deck, who does all the work to make all the slides perfect and everything, but then it's the man who presents. And so that is emotional labor. And you've heard the, oh, you're just so much better at it than I am. And your response to that is that maybe, but you're never gonna improve if you don't try.

SPEAKER_00 8:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:40

And so when we constantly take the behind-the-scenes work, the planning the meetings, doing the slide decks, celebrating the birthdays, knowing who's allergic to what, it's necessary work, but that work almost always falls on women. And none of that work will get you promoted. So you have to be very choiceful in the things you're taking to make sure that it's something that will actually help move you ahead.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Nicole just said something that I want to slow down on because the advice everyone gives here is actually wrong. The common advice is just stop doing the deck. Sounds reasonable, especially from someone not in the system, but it doesn't work. And here's why. Picture Sarah. She's organized, she's dependable, she knows the tools. So every project someone says, hey, can you clean this up? And she says yes. Because saying yes is how she's built relationships, how she's proven herself, how she's gotten ahead. A year later, Sarah's exhausted. And the advice she gets, set boundaries. Say no next time, but look closer. The deck was never the problem. The problem is that the responsibility kept flowing towards the most capable person in the room. And nobody ever stopped to ask why. Nobody asks, why is Sarah always the one doing this? Or who actually owns this work? So here's what happened. Sarah thinks she's being a team player, leadership sees someone who's a great support, and slowly, without anyone deciding it, Sarah becomes known as the person who makes the presentation instead of the person who should be delivering it. That's the trust tax. Not because Sarah worked hard, because responsibility quietly accumulated around her and her visibility didn't keep pace with her contribution. Question isn't, should I say no to the deck? The question is, who is actually positioned to own this and why is it me? And when you ask that question, you can help return the project to the rightful owner. Help support the owner doing the work themselves. And I could see where it would be uncomfortable to say no, no, you know what? I think I'll present. You do the deck.

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SPEAKER_01 10:53

Yeah,

(Cont.) Burned Out by Design: The Corporate Trap That Keeps Capable Women "In Place"

SPEAKER_01 10:54

and that's where you can just be very open in it of, you know, the last two times I've done the deck and you've presented, let's switch it this time. Oh, well, no, it always works so great. Well, you know, I'm working on developing my presentation skills and you need to work on developing your deck skills because you told me you're not great at it. So this is an opportunity for both of us. Well, I still think no, no, this time I'm gonna present. You go you go ahead and get the deck. And they're gonna push back as much as you let them. And you just stay polite and calm and just say, nope, this is what I'm gonna do because it's a development opportunity for me.

SPEAKER_00 11:24

Thank you. Now, if a leader is listening and they realize, oh yes, this is me, I need to do this. What is the first fix? Is it the system? Is it for the person? What how should they start?

SPEAKER_01 11:38

They need to start by building self-awareness, and this is what I mean. Most women have no idea how much emotional labor mental load they take on. So just here's a very scary stat. If you are working a full-time job in a year, that's roughly 2,000 hours of work in a year. The mental load for women is another 500 in 20 hours on top of that. So that's like you're working two full-time jobs for a full quarter. That's insane. So you don't even recognize all the stuff you're doing. So this is where I really encourage people to just start taking lists. Like take a week and write down everything. The amount of times you do the laundry, plan the shopping list, make the appointment for the kids, do the PowerPoint at work, all of the stuff, and just write it down. And then after that week, you're gonna look at that list and be like, oh, no wonder I'm so tired. And then you need to start having the conversations with your partner that says, Hey, I recognize that for the last little while I've taken care of all the kids' appointments, I've, you know, washed all the uniforms, packed all the bags. I need you to step up and help me on that. Well, yet again, hey, this needs to be divided because it's too much on me and I need your help. Having that conversation at home and at work, it's going to look like the next time your boss comes to you with something, great, this means I'm not gonna do this anymore, and I'm looking forward to this new challenge. And so you're starting to shovel that work off your plate that is non-promotable labor, it's the emotional labor tax, and it's not something that gets you recognized as a leader, it just gets you recognized as a doer.

SPEAKER_00 13:11

I I could see where that is necessary. So being the one that gets everything done, you're saying, is basically causing you to hit your career ceiling. At what point does being capable turn into overfunctioning? And how does that quietly cap advancement as well? That's the high performer tax.

SPEAKER_01 13:31

Because you can do so much, they'll keep adding to your plate. And then suddenly, when you can't do as much anymore because you're overloaded, that's when you sudden suddenly start getting your rating drops, negative reviews, and it's a downward spiral until you go into another place and then you start it again. You start being your overperforming self. They add more to it, it gets too much. Then you start getting the negative reviews, and it's this nasty, nasty death spiral that happens.

SPEAKER_00 13:56

Okay, burnout myth number two. This one trips people up constantly. The myth: if you're overwhelmed, just say no. Great advice. Except for most listeners right now are thinking, you don't understand my situation. I can't just say no. So let me give you a story instead. Say you're responsible for a key relationship: a client, a stakeholder, someone who trusts you, then a different department or a leadership person, someone else on the team makes a call that you have nothing to do with. And because of that call, the client's upset. And your boss turns to you and says, Can you smooth this over? You had nothing to do with the decision, but the relationship is yours to manage. Just to say no doesn't work here. If you say no, the relationship breaks. And the relationship is your job. So instead you ask a different question. What part of this actually belongs to me? It's only maintaining the relationship. That's mine. Deciding whether the policy gets reversed, that's not mine. It never was. So my job isn't to absorb that decision, it is to connect the person, the client, the relationship with the person who actually has the authority to change their decision. That's the difference between responsibility and false ownership. And learning to tell them apart in real time, under pressure, might be the single most useful skill in this entire episode.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

Because instead of being balanced and saving the time to do the critical thinking, demonstrate the leadership, take on the challenging projects, you're always in due mode. And so I really encourage people to think how can I have at least a half a day a week, if not a full day, dedicated to thinking new projects, understanding the systems, research on my industry, giving you space to do more than just generate output. Because if you never create that space for yourself to demonstrate your thinking and leadership, no one will ever perceive you as that.

SPEAKER_00 16:04

I like that particular direction, especially the structure of okay, I need at least a half a day to a full day just for investigation, just to do the research, just to expand my skills. That kind of gives me as a aspiring leader, you know, just the okay, this is what I'm shooting for. What is one behavior that I could stop to give myself that half a day, full day?

SPEAKER_01 16:33

I highly recommend that you go and look at your calendar because this is the ultimate governor of all. Too often women will leave their calendar open, not block any time, and they'll just flow to whatever they need to and go into that and go into that. As you have your most valuable resource, which is time, you have to be the barbarian at the gate. You have to make sure that your time is serving you.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

Name a myth that I think keeps a lot of brilliant women stuck. The myth: if you're exhausted, you need better self-care. Now, self-care isn't bad. In fact, it is important. Whether you're exhausted or not, self-care keeps you from getting exhausted. But here's the trap. When self-care becomes the whole answer, it quietly tells you the problem is you. And you'll be able to carry the same load without it costing you anything. But what if the load itself is the problem? Here's a different question. And it's the one we asked in the trust tax framework. Not how do I recover from this workload, but how did this workload end up belonging to me in the first place? Burned out, high performers tend to ask, how do I fix this? How do I absorb this? How do I make this work? Healthy leaders ask, who owns this? What assumptions drove this decision? What process is missing here? Avoiding burnout isn't about refusing responsibility. It's about refusing false ownership. The responsibility that was never actually yours to carry, but landed on you anyway because you're capable, available, and unlikely to let it fail. So before you reach out for another wellness habit, ask the ownership question first. You can still not let it fail by asking these questions and let the appropriate ownership flow.

SPEAKER_01 18:35

For example, in my last corporate job, I always left it from eight to nine in the morning open because as the head of sales, something would go wrong. A truck didn't show up, a customer, you know, something would go wrong. So inevitably, that first hour of the day, I needed to solve the problem. But if I didn't have space, then I wouldn't have been able to do it. Then I would always had time for lunch. I always blocked an hour for lunch because I wanted to meet people. I had 100 people working for me. I wanted to have lunch with people. I wanted to connect with them. And I had that time for it. Then I had another hour in the afternoon, which was my time to get work done. And then I always left 4:30 to 5 open for other sales things that went wrong. But throughout the day, that was three hours total that I had every day where I could flex to what I chose to flex to, get my work done, and still connect with my organization the way I wanted to. If I didn't do that, I would be sucked into meetings every single moment of every single day. But my assistant knew that those times, unless there was an absolute emergency, were mine and not to override them because otherwise I just would never have that time. So the one thing that you can stop doing is giving your time away. And instead become just incredibly selfish on your calendar and decide what works for you. If you're more effective in the morning, take more time in the morning. If you're more effective in the afternoon, take it then. Do what's right for you, but just be selfish on your calendar.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

I love that. And I just um see that uh time taking your time to actually do what is yours. For me, I am better in the morning than I am the afternoon. The afternoon, I'm usually just wiped out. So growing and learning more to help other people, that is how I take my time in the morning before the craziness starts. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

And some people might say, Well, I'm best at 10 o'clock at night. Awesome. Flex to what you need to do as long as it's not working a full day, coming home and being a mom for six hours and then taking more time. You have to be so, so selfish on your time because there's only one you. And if you're not recharging your batteries, if you're not taking care of yourself, you cannot succeed, you cannot perform at the level you want to. So if I could just wish one thing for all women is that they get a lot more selfish with their time.

SPEAKER_00 20:54

There you go. So there are people that are doing exceptional work behind the scenes and others that are moving ahead faster with less output for sure. What actually changes how someone is perceived as promotable beyond just doing the great work? And you talked, you touched on this somewhat. Is there can you expand on it a little bit more? I think the biggest differentiator is going to be sponsorship.

SPEAKER_01 21:20

So a lot of people will confuse a coach, a mentor, and a sponsor. And so let me just break it down real simply. A coach is someone who talks with you, a mentor is someone who talks to you, and a sponsor is someone who talks for you. And so what I mean by that is, hey, I'm working on a business problem, I talk to my coach, we're going back and forth, and we're trying to figure out the best way to approach it, blah, blah, blah. And we're both putting input into it. A mentor is someone who, based on their experience, is giving you information. Like, for example, when I started work, both my parents were teachers. I had never been to a business dinner in my life. I didn't know what they were, I didn't know what to do. So I called my mentor and she's like, Wear this, don't wear that. Only have one glass of wine, don't do this. I'm like, great. Got it. She just spoke to me. She told me exactly what to do. The sponsor is the most underdeveloped relationship that women have. This is someone who, at some point, you were in their reporting line, usually, or you worked with them on a project, but they've had some exposure to your work. And after that, you stay in contact with them and you continue to build that relationship. You tell them what you're working on. You say, hey, here's where I'm thinking about my career. Here's where I think some of the experiences are that I need. Because that sponsor is in the room where it happens when they're discussing promotions, when they're discussing projects. And that person is your voice when you can't be there. Men naturally create sponsorship through their ongoing networking that they do so well, whether it's in the golf course or the bathroom. Women do not do that. Women are heavily, heavily, heavily under sponsored. So when you're doing great work, no one can talk about it. It's really hard to get the next role. And so now I'm sure you're probably thinking, well, that sounds great, but how do I get a sponsor? Think back through your career. Someone who is higher than you that you connected with, that you thought, oh my gosh, they're awesome. Reach back out to that person. Talk to them. Help them understand what you're doing and ask how you can be in service for them. But keep that relationship going because you want that voice in the world.

SPEAKER_00 23:23

Before we close, I want to leave you with one more myth because I think it's the one that keeps organizations from seeing the problem until it's too late. The myth is if the dashboards look good, the people are fine. Here's the truth. By the time someone burns out and leaves, they didn't just suddenly break. They went through stages, they didn't just absorb the extra work. They overcommitted to the work. Quietly, because they were capable and highly driven. Maybe a little neurotic. Then they became vigilant, constantly scanning, bracing, managing other people's expectations. And here's the part that matters the most. At that vigilant stage, the dashboards still look green. The work is still getting done. The numbers are still fine. Nobody sees a problem because there isn't one yet. But underneath, something shifted. The person starts disconnecting emotionally and practically. And by the time it shows up as an exit or a resignation or why it's quitting, the organization looks shocked, but everything looked fine. It looked fine because the work was visible and the cost wasn't. So here's the question: whether you're leading a team or living just yourself, what would it look like to check in at the everything looks fine stage instead of waiting for the exit? That actually worked out really well for me when I was moving from a medical sales leader who speaks with physicians and gives talks to a sales director. I had a situation where I had a mentor who told me what to do on the interviews and that sort of thing, but I also had sponsors in people who were in the room. And I had this situation where I had applied for the a position, didn't get it. Then another opportunity opened up in the company, applied, interviewed, didn't get it. The person that was my mentor literally called me and told me that I was making a fool of myself, that I shouldn't be going for these positions. And I remember it vividly because it was a phone conversation that we were having, and I was flying home from a business trip, and he dropped this little nugget on me. And I was uh drinking a diet coke and eating chips at a chili's at the restaurant. And I was like, I think I need a beer. Yes. And then what happened is the first position that I didn't get, different person was hired, quit in six weeks. So they brought me back, reinterviewed me, and I got the I got the position. I got the job. But the reason why I was reinterviewed was because I had a sponsor. There was a leadership meeting. It was because this was like not a good thing that someone left within six weeks. So people, the leaders were talking about the situation, what to do. And my sponsor reminded everyone who, by the way, was not my my mentor. My mentor was in the room, said nothing about my candidacy. Nothing. But the sponsor said, Hey, remember, you've got Natalie.

SPEAKER_01 26:34

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 26:35

It's a big deal.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Natalie is a huge thing that women, I think they undervalue because they don't know the power of it. And so I highly encourage all women to map out who their coaches are, their mentors are, and who their sponsors are. And if you see a deficit on any of them, build a plan to get you there because you've got to have that voice in the room where it happens. Definitely.

SPEAKER_00 27:00

Now we talk about visibility and power dynamics. I just described a power dynamic that just happened. And it could be uncomfortable to talk about that. What are some things that they can do? As you said, build that map, list those people that are in those particular categories. How would they go about building that system, those sponsors, the mentors? What would they do first? The first thing is just reach out to the person.

SPEAKER_01 27:27

99 times out of a hundred, if not 999 out of a thousand, someone is going to be honored that you thought of them as someone who could help you in your career because you see them as strong in this area or they have this, you know, part of their job that can impact you. Reaching out to someone, you just want to say, hey, I was thinking back when we were working together and how much I enjoyed that. And you've had such a long runway in this company or in this industry or in this whatever. I'd really like to reconnect because I just think I can continue to learn from you. And so as you're doing that, having that connection relationship, talk to them about what you're doing. Understand what their issues are, see if you can help solve them. But put effort into it versus just, you know, a once-in-a-while email because you want your name to be top of mind, like Natalie's example, where the sponsor said, Hey, we already know this person is here and is vetted, and let's give them a shot. So you have to build that relationship up. Again, 99, 999 out of a thousand are going to be super happy to do that. The occasional one who doesn't, okay, that's fine. Try again with someone else. But you have to be intentional about cultivating it. And that is something that a lot of women don't naturally do. And it's a gap.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Yep. There you go. So we talked about so much already. We talked about um, you know, really assessing your calendar. We talked about not doing the background work, putting yourself out there so that you're seen as a leader. You're not doing the invisible work. And we also talked about how you can actually, or you gave an example of how you can set a boundary of, hey, I'm not gonna be doing the invisible work here. I'm gonna start to be intentional about having other people do that invisible work so that I can be the one who's seen as the high potential. If someone is a little bit nervous about doing all these things, what is one mental shift that they can make in order to just move forward by sending and set those boundaries?

SPEAKER_01 29:34

You don't, the first time you ask for setting a boundary or meeting with a sponsor, the first time you do that doesn't have to be the actual episode. The first time you do that can be in front of a mirror, it can be with your phone, it can be with a friend, your partner, with your cat. It doesn't matter, but you have to get fluent in saying the words. And if you come out and are like, I guess I'm not sure, but I don't think I should do the, you know, the doc. I no practice, practice, record yourself with your phone, flinch, do it again. Record yourself, flinch less, but you have to get your body, your mind, everything comfortable with those words. And if you can role play with someone, all the better. So that way you've got 10, 20, 50 reps under your belt before the first time you actually need to make it matter. Fantastic. Now you just came out with a new book. Can you tell us about it? Absolutely. So it is called Taboo Topics Things Women Should Talk About, but don't. And this book has 24 chapters in it, and each chapter is its own topic. And the thing I I'm a voracious reader. It doesn't matter if it's a latest business book or a vampire romance, I will read it. I'm omnivorous on books. The thing I get challenged with on business books is so many are very good at defining the problem, but they then don't tell you how to solve it. And so I wanted to give very practical ways that you could address challenges. Like I talk about in here, I have a whole chapter on compensation because a lot of women don't understand the levers of compensation. And in fact, only one out of every three women is fully maximizing the money she should be getting from her employer. And that is free money, free money that they're letting go away. So I have an email template in here about how to write your boss for a race. You know, I want to make it easy for people to say, okay, I got it. Now what do I go do? On the whole mental load, there's a whole chapter on it. I give you a whole bunch of questions you need to be asking yourself, potentially your partner, potentially your boss, about questions on the mental load because I want to make it approachable and easy. So lots of great information in here and hopefully done in a way that you can take easy next steps from it.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Fantastic. We'll have a link to that in the show notes. Anything else that you would like to leave us before we end the podcast episode?

SPEAKER_01 32:05

I just want women to recognize how phenomenal they are. And part of that means stepping into your power. And what your power looks like is different than what my power looks like, and it's different than what Natalie's powers look like. And so figuring out what truly makes you feel empowered, knowledgeable, capable, that is when you're going to unleash. And so I really want women to challenge themselves of the things that they're doing. Are they doing it because they want to or because they feel they should? And women should all over themselves. And we need to stop that. And instead recognize that you need to be selfish about your time and figure out what makes you thrive and then lean into that because that's where your career will will completely unleash.

SPEAKER_00 32:56

Fantastic. Thank you so much for joining us on Unsealing You. And I really hope people go out and grab that book and take advantage of the information that we just shared today. Thank you for having me, Natalie. If you recognize yourself in the deck nobody saw you build, or the relationship you've been quietly holding together, that's not a personal failing. That's a pattern. And patterns can be seen, named, and changed. If you want to find out where this shows up for you specifically, I've built a free tool called the Trust Tax Diagnostic. 12 questions, about five minutes, and it'll show you where responsibility may have quietly concentrated in your role and what stage you're at. You can find it at the Unsealing Zone, and that's the ceiling like over your head, U-N-C-E-I-L-I-N-G-Zone.com backslash trust underscore tax underscore diagnostic dash page. And you're the kind of person whose brain doesn't shut off at night, running audits at one in the morning over things that aren't even technically yours. I also have something called the responsibility reset, a short structured notebook that walks you through sorting what's actually yours to carry and closing those open loops so you can rest. That one's linked in the diagnostic results too. You can find Nicole's work, including her book, Taboo Topics, at innatepower.coach. And she's got a free networking guide linked in the show notes. Lots of resources for you. That's it for this episode of Unsealing You. If it resonated, share it with someone who needs to hear it, and I'll see you the next time.